HONESTY FOR A WOMAN OF GOD

I have been allowed to come in contact with young girls lately. Pre-teen and teen agers, also young ladies in their early twenties. It has been pressed upon my heart and within my soul the importance of cultivating our young ladies NOW ! We must talk with them about the 'LIVING WATER' that is free to them even at a young age. They must know about this water that you can not buy with money !( Isaiah 55:1-3). As we cultivate them we as older women must not forget that it is by the MERCY and GRACE of the Lord that we have come this forth though we are still FAR from perfect. Some of us did not have a Woman in our lives that was a good example of a Woman of God. We may not have been given examples or advice according to the Word when we were young .

Instead we were brought up with an example of 'just going to church' was good enough. Shouting, dancing and singing in church was what you were suppose to do and it was ok to if you walked out and started cussin, smoking or raising all kinds of HELL when you left out . Mon-Fri. you could do and say what ever you wanted but on Sunday morning when you got in the church you had to show yourself saved and sanctified ! We just had to make sure we did not get pregnant! How about that Mom who said"You can go out to the club on Saturday night but YOU goin to church in the morning !" Many of us did things as teenagers that would have made our mother's hearts almost bust open and the other women in the church we told us to be 'good girls' !

While we are now older and growing in Christ, we need to keep it REAL with our young ladies. We need to try to catch them early before the high school years so they will be able to handle the high school years and college years. We must give them what we did not get HONESTY about how we fell down but got back up ! Honesty about the importance of 'keeping' themselves until marriage and the honesty of SIN ! It may sound old fashioned but you need to call it what it is. If it is not the WILL of GOD it is SIN ! We must be honest and let them know that they are accountable for their own souls and satan will take it if you GIVE it to him !

We must train them up so that they will have a spirit of CONVICTION ! They must know how to call upon the Word of God when faced with situations that will put them out of the his Will. It is not about NOT GETTING PREGNANT..when it comes to sex..it is about teaching abstinence to them. It is not about looking as cute as possible in their clothes. It is about teaching them at an early age that HOLINESS is really what is beautiful ! They must know they are valuable and if a man can not live up to their requirements they can not be with them ! THEY MUST know the demand respect and be given it when it comes to decisions about their minds, bodies and soul ! If we train them up we have done what is required. Then we must allow them to step out on their own. I believe we can make a difference in their actions even when away from us.

We must let them know that some us did not have an example like that . We must let them know some of went through a rough time as teen agers too and we can relate when they act out as though they have to EXHALE ! We must let them know we had heart breaks while dating young men, we must let them know we did not handle every situation the way we should have. We must listen to them and advise them according to the WORD OF GOD ! I can not emphasize this enough. I can only speak for my self, God has truly watched over me through my development into the Woman i am now. When i left for college i left with JOY in my heart. I had felt burden down for so long i was just glad to be free !

I had given myself and battled with conviction about it while in high school. I believed that it was about waiting for some time and then when you met that guy that really proved himself to love you that it was ok to give to him a very special gift, but on the other hand each time i was convicted and dealt with a see-saw. When I went off to college I felt I was responsible enough and mature enough to take care of myself and still carry myself as a young lady. I met a young man my first year there that I really drew to because i enjoyed his conversation, his laughter, his sense of humor and I thought he was so HANDSOME ! I wanted to just be with him and I thought that if he knew this since he liked me too we would be together.

Believing this I gave myself to him because It was just going to be him. I could have gone my whole four years with him. But reality is whether we would have been together through our college years or not I was out of the Will of God to give myself to him in a manner that only a Wife should give herself to the Man who deems her worthy of carrying his last name. My Sophomore year I made the decision that we were going to come forth as a couple or I was going to leave what I thought was a 'relationship'.His actions to me, would prove me right or wrong. I put the ultimatum on the table and he decided 'it was not broken so why fix it'. He wanted me to settle for just knowing we were a couple but for me It had to be shown to the entire campus. Love was and still is an action. I cared a great deal for him but I cared more for myself so as much as I missed him and It hurt me to walk away, walk away is what I did. I had given him something very precious to me..MYSELF and that was a thing of value and it deserved the utmost..not an assumption unspoken.

Later on, I gave my heart again and made another choice based on RESPECT for myself as what I thought that meant and entailed. I went thru devastating heart break and I re-acted in a manner to fool people into thinking I was handling it just fine and did not care. I presented the facade that It had no effect on me in a negative way but it really did ! I put on an act in my other relationships with 'boys' because they were not MEN ! I still had not healed from my decision to end a relationship with someone I gave my heart fully too and I did not trust any male because of my involvement with other males from that point. I developed a 'get them before they get you' mentality and it phased me NONE to pretend to be faithful ! I did what I wanted , when I wanted, with who I wanted ! I was HARD on the outside but crushed on the inside. I presented myself as less than a lady by the way I talked sometimes, The way I treated other men, The way I looked at relationships and my outlook on LOVE !

I could cuss as good as any MAN and It did not phase me any ! HURT can cause you to turn to stone if you do not know how else to deal with it. Who was there in my life to tell me the proper way to deal with it ? Who could I turn to for guidance and release ? No one I felt. I was hard and I was rough and I was proud of that reputation ! I did not TRUST and I was not going to give my heart again ! Then one day, I began to feel tired. I just seemed to run out of GAS one day. I was tired of wasting my time with 'boys'. I was tired of not being able to open myself up and be vulnerable again. It was too risky before !

At this point, I must have caused just a big enough opening for GOD to get in my heart and place a desire within me! I laid my tired and weary body down at his altar ! I laid my broken heart down at his altar. I laid down the tears that had fallen because of lies, immaturity and foolishness of BOYS ! I went down on my knees one night and I called out to him. I asked him specifically for something and I got up believing that he had heard me. I left it there and went on with my life. I started making small changes. I still fell down in areas but I also became stronger in other areas. They were small changes but they were a start. A year had gone by before the Lord manifested my request. It came without me being warned and without any 'bells and whistles' going off.

Along came Jason. He was a complete opposite of me. He was the calm to my storm. He was the trust to my deceit. He was the soother to my wrath ! Most of all he came into my heart before I even knew it and when he came I denied it at first !I did not want to accept it even though I knew what I had asked God for ! I was scared because I was trying to rationalize this by the standards of the World and the World said this could not be REAL and It did not happen this way ! To try and keep my self balanced I was still not being the whole person I should have been with him. One night though, he kissed me and it was so soft, so sincere, and I accepted it. I opened up some at this point. A few months later I took a big chance and did something I believed was really unsafe, I told him I loved him ! THERE !!! I had said those words that always brought heartache ! He confessed his love for me also and the way he held me made me feel he was real ! YES I WAS STILL SCARED !

He read the Bible in a Year with me. This was definitely nothing I had ever experienced in other relationships or whatever you want to call them . He was patient with me as I begin to back out of the world. He waited for me to make changes in my life because LOVE will make you want to change for the person you love. LOVE IS AN ACTION and sometimes it requires sacrifice. It requires a release of the toxins from your past! He was used by God to put me back on my road of deliverance and salvation. I was on my WAY to HELL but for the MERCY AND GRACE of the Lord ! I want to be able to share these stories and others with young girls and young ladies to head them off before they go this direction ! Things seem to be even worse for young people now. The imagination of EVIL is rising up in their minds it seems even higher than our generation of young people. If I can help one I would have done a good deed. She in return will help another young lady and it will grow and It will spread.

If I had not gone thru some of these things though I would not have known that GOD can be a protector even in the midst of your MESS, He can protect you even w hen death is trying to come and take you, He can be a refuge in the time of need and he can keep you safe from hurt , harm and danger that may cost you your soul in the midst of your mess ! I am not perfect now and was not perfect then but I AM GROWING AND STRIVING NOW ! I pray I can make a positive difference in the spiritual relationship of a young lady with her GOD. If I can open her eyes to see that GOD is the ultimate . No man can treat you as good but If you wait on him he will allow the BEST for you to find you !

We must teach our young ladies to let the MAN find you. Do not go out looking for him and do not settle for just any male presence in your life. Set your standards for yourself and the man you date according to the WORD OF GOD. A man should be so close to GOD he has to go through him to find a woman, A mate , a Wife ! I am Jason's blessing and his portion in this life and I believe he is MINE ! He was the one God gave the Wisdom to polish me off and see the real me inside !

Our young ladies must value themselves and we must allow them to confide in us. Most importantly, we must teach them to communicate any and all things to CHRIST JESUS through prayer. GOD BLESS AND PROTECT OUR YOUNG LADIES..SHOW THEM THE SAME GRACE AND MERCY YOU SHOWED ME !