Today I want to address a special relationship, the relationship of the people we call friends. For me personally, it is a deep and loving commitment to each other. It comes with trust, love, understanding, support, disagreements and sacrifice. I have expectations of the people I allow in my life and my heart to be put in a special category called 'Friends'.
They are people in my life that I should feel comfortable with discussing any and all things because it is going to stay between us. It is someone who would make small sacrifices for me because they know I would make the same sacrifices for them. I expect no less than what I am pouring into the relationship to be available to me . I share my happy moments, sad moments, hurtful moments and call on them when I need prayer and encouragement. It goes unsaid as far as I am concerned that if someone or something has hurt or offended my friend no matter how long ago or how recent, I am there to try and protect her and heal her from it .
If it is someone who has hurt her in some way, I pray for her and show myself in actions, words and deeds as someone who cares about her. I can forgive the person who hurt her especially if it was unjust, but I do not think I could have a 'friendship' or ' close relationship' with that person if I care so much for my friend. That friend who is or should be on the same emotionally-bonded level as I am can count on me not to break the unspoken friendship rules of conduct . She can also count on me to tell her the truth if and when she is out of line.
If her actions cause me hurt and show me that she does not honor or value the relationship I thought was friendship, then my season with her is done. I will shake the dust of my time with her from my feet and move forward . As wounded as I would be I would have to remove my self from someone whose actions reflect that of someone who is an enemy. An enemy to me is someone who is out to hurt you. Someone who does not care about you and feels no love or commitment to you or the relationship .
When their actions effect your relationship in a manner that causes you to be uncomfortable in their presence and stand in total disbelief of what they have done, it is time to walk away because someone has wasted their time and were mislead in what they thought they had with this person during this season. The question then becomes, ' How do you forgive the offense of someone who was so deeply in your heart ? God truly has to heal you and wipe away your tears. The Holy Spirit has to speak to you and comfort you right at that moment when the arrow hits.
You should immediately remove yourself from their presence and go into prayer about your feelings. I have recently had someone whom I loved deeply for about 20 years do something that I think is tacky and completely against the code of friendship and my expectations of her as a friend. I confided in her so many times, I offered her shelter, I loved her, I prayed for her, I asked God to watch over her and her child even while she was in another place making a life for herself and her child. She was out of my sight but not out of my mind or my heart. She was like a daughter to me and a dear friend also.
The disbelief of her actions wounded me deeply. God brought her back into my life physically a few months before she did this and I just can not for the life of me figure out why she was allowed to come back into my life physically at this time just to hurt me so badly. The ad part is she has no clue. She does not understand why her actions are a slap in my face or why I think it is like spitting on a relationship we have had for some 20 years. I met her at a difficult time in my life and she was there for me. I loved her for that and thought that no matter how far or amount of time, she would always be my 'friend'.
Well, it is amazing how wrong we can be. Forgiveness is difficult enough, but when it has to be put into action because someone near and dear to your heart offended you it is even harder. You are all wrapped up in emotional disbelief and hurt so it is hard for the spirit of Forgiveness to come into your heart though you know it must in order for you to go forth and be blessed. A dear prophetess explain to me once what it means to really forgive and I thank her so much for that. God knows who to send in your life with his Word even when you can not find it in his Word yourself at that time.
The prophetess shared this with me, 'Forgiveness is an act of our will and has nothing to do with our feelings.' Some days we may not feel saved, but it does not mean we are not saved! The enemy wants to bring up the past, but if we forgive, then we put that thing under the blood of Jesus and leave it there. When the thoughts continue to come into our minds, we rebuke the thoughts by taking them captive as the Word has told us to and tell the enemy that it is covered under the blood of Jesus !
WHOM THE LORD SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED ! AMEN.
I Thank her so much for that much needed word. I still love the young lady that committed the offense because 20 years of loving someone and praying for them does not just go away. I am still healing from her actions and I am praying for her because she really is still lost and blind concerning her deeds and actions toward our relationship. God has allowed me to see though that it was not a friendship all these years so I release her and move forward with my life. I pray her eyes will be opened and the Holy Spirit will one day reveal the offense to her if she is open to hearing him. I wish her no harm.
I forgive her because I have to and because she really does not know. She is still maturing physically, mentally , emotionally and spiritually and I pray God keep her as she goes through becoming the Woman of God he truly wants her to be. The Lord forgave me when I was in error and when I was out of line and I wish the same for her. She will one day come full circle with all of her actions the good and the bad and will see the fruit of all of them.
If you have a real friend love her enough to pray for her daily. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
